Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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