I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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