Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
