I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
