His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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