her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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