i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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