isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
They have beer where we have blood.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
