I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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