I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
