look no pants
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
a search helicopter?!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
