Don't make out with my wife yet
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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