I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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