Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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