well I can't set my house on fire every night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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