i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
