Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
