You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
