Are we in a gay sports bar?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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