Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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