I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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