A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
