i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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