Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
