I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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