after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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