rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
