absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As shirtless as possible
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
