Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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