if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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