I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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