I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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