tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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