first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
