You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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