The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
