Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize