Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
