And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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