You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
