Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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