p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
