I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
