i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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