Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
