He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
