It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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