I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
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You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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