I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
