If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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