I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
