Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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