wake up i wanna do it froggy style
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
